I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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