I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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