I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize