the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize
