he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
