Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
