We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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