checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
