she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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