ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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