my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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