yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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