i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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