So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize