How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I still have a little drunk in my system
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
