A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
