There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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