Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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