I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
He is an equal opportunity slut.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
