A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize