just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
