so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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