hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
