I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
