Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize
