Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
