Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize