some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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