ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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