Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
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