Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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