is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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