Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
