his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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