Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize