If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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