before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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