I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Randomize
