This dress was meant to end up on your floor
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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