Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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