Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
