you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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