ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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