You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
