I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Shame - the story of my life.
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