How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
