I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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