I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Do vagina's smell?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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