the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
