Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
