can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
