It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
you're hired as official boob wrangler
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
