hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Randomize
