i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
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I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
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Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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