I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
