ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
