I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
