they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
