Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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