dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
