i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
